Ok first of all, I feel a bit hypocritical because this topic is actually something I REALLY struggle with. Like all the time. Yup. Balance is something I strive for, but actually often do not achieve and am left feeling frazzled, stressed out and like I can never do enough. Sounds fun, right?
Do you ever find yourself giving really great advice to a friend and then realize it is EXACTLY what you yourself need to do to fix your problems but you just haven’t done it yet? This is kind of like that… Ok, this is exactly like that.
I’ll explain, don’t worry. First, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Marie and I am an over-achiever. Yes, I am inferring this like it’s a bad thing. I have always been this way and so, always thought it was NORMAL to have 358 tasks to complete every single day and if I didn’t finish them, I had failed. I currently work 3 jobs and often struggle to balance work, family and Beachbody coaching. So, why am I the one to speak on this topic? Because it is something I have been working on for the past year to correct. And I’ve got some life advice I want to impart on anyone heading down “over-achiever aka overwhelm lane”.
My days commonly consist of a 6am wake up. I’ll put water on to boil, make tea or coffee (depends if I’m planning on having my energize pre-workout or not). I’ll read around 10 pages of my current personal development book and then I’ll log on to the computer, check my coach online office and dive into sending messages, follow ups, crafting a post or two for that day and whatever else I have planned (and written out) on my daily and weekly TO-DO lists. Why do I bring up the list? Because it’s the number one key to my success as a busy person. We’ll dive a bit more into that in a bit.
After my PD and messaging, I crush out my workout, shower, get ready and go teach for the day. I’ll usually listen to a podcast in the car on the way to work. This is something I’ve come to LOVE as it gets my mind ready to tackle the day and fills my heart and head with positive, badass affirmations. Usually I’ll sneak in some messaging or a couple posts during my lunch break, but other than that just regular teacher stuff.
Most days I’ll get home from teaching, make supper, get another 30 minutes of coaching work in (usually to do with messaging, trainings, etc.) and then it’s time for me to eat, get ready for work and head out the door to go to my next job as a server. I get home around 10 or 11 and by that point I’m exhausted and ready for bed.
So how do I fit it all in and still achieve success? I work in 15-30 minute stints throughout the day when I have time. In the morning. During my lunch break. At Recess. Right after school, etc. and I am slowly learning to accept that I can do anything, but I can’t do everything.
I read this awesome book called “The Fringe Hours” by Jessica Turner and it really helped me to realize that the more I use my “pockets of time”, the better off I’ll be! It also helped me to realize to not be so hard on myself. I really am my own worst critic, always thinking I can do more, be more and achieve more – no matter how much I am doing at the moment. Do you know that feeling? It’s not a very healthy mindset to maintain I’ve found, so here are some steps I’ve taken in an attempt to gain balance in my oh so hectic life:
1) PUT PEN TO PAPER:
Seriously. Do it. No long-term goals ever came to fruition without a solid plan put down on paper at some point. Write that shit down. I make a list of my daily, weekly and monthly tasks. I also make a master list where I can lay out ALL the things I want to achieve and can star them for the current month or write down a timeline of when I can achieve them in the next couple months. WRITE OUT YOUR GOALS! Break them down into SMART goals too! What does that mean? It means your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time sensitive!!
2) CREATE “OFFICE HOURS”:
This is one of the ways I am able to find balance and succeed. And even though my current “office hours” entail three or four 15-40 minute segments throughout the day, it works. It won’t be like this forever, but at the moment my “office hours” need to fit in between my other jobs and that’s ok. Short-term sacrifice for long term success.
3) SET BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS:
This is huge. Do any of you receive messages and automatically feel obligated to answer them? Like the world will collapse if you don’t respond in a timely manner? Yeah, me too. And it’s not working for you and it’s not working for me. I learned around 6 months ago that I needed to turn OFF (gasp*) my notifications for FB messenger and FB. Like completely off. I also learned that I need to turn my phone onto silent mode after 8pm. What does this do? Well it allows me to have my sanity for one. And secondly, it allows me to answer messages when I am working (ie: first thing in the morning). You are not a 24/7 hotline. Set boundaries and expectations so people know how to treat you.
Yes. From everything. Don’t even check your Snap Chat. Sounds insane, right? Well it’s not. Unplugging has been proven to benefit EVERYONE. Whether you unplug for an hour a day or for a full day each week. Turn your phone off, don’t check social media and just BE. Learn to just BE with yourself. Who are you? Do you know? Spend some time alone. Go for a walk, read a book, bake some muffins (and then don’t post them on Instagram this one time). Visit with family. Whatever you need to do to distract yourself from the social media addiction that we all have, do it. It’s important for your sanity, relationships and long-term success.
5) CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLE, THE REST WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF:
Have you ever had someone bail on you? Or have a ‘friend’ talk negatively about you? Or a customer or coach quit on you? Or a family member who doesn’t support you? Most of us have probably experienced this in some form. And it sucks, yes. But we can only control how we react in any given situation, the rest is just hogwash and not to be stressed about. So control the controllable, and just do you, Boo.
6) EMBRACE FAILURE:
Do it. It’s there to teach you. There’s this common misconception that successful people have never failed. The truth of the matter is that the most successful person has failed 100x more than the person who never tried. But the difference? They used their shortcomings as moments of learning and got back up to try again. And again. And again. So embrace failure, and learn how to succeed.
7) DON’T LET YOUR BUSINESS TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE:
This is for all of my entrepreneurial lady (and man) bosses out there. You should love what you do, but you should also find balance in what you do. Do not let your business take over your life. You will lose who you are if all you do is eat, sleep and pray work. Get obsessed with your mission; ABSOLUTELY, but then learn to BALANCE it with the every day!
8) CELEBRATE OFTEN:
The small milestones, the process, how hard you work. Don’t just go from goal to goal without stopping to recognize the effort and accomplishments along the way. Show yourself grace and gratitude. And celebrate the small things. When we learn to appreciate the process, our goals become that much more attainable, enjoyable and worthwhile.
9) KEEP IT SUPER SIMPLE:
Don’t overcomplicate things!! For all my fellow BB coaches, get your 3 vital behaviors in and the rest will follow! Are you on your own health journey with a program and Shakeology? Are you reading or listening to PD every day to strengthen your mind? Are you inviting to the opportunity? That is ALL you need to worry about. The rest: all the fancy trainings, graphics, social media platforms and advertisements, etc. That will come with time! Do not stress about more than you need to do to propel your business forward right now.
10) HAVE A SUPER CONCRETE ‘WHY’ AND SELF-BELIEF:
This is arguably the most important of all ten. What is the one thing that you want more than being able to breathe? The one thing that gets you out of bed early every morning and lights a fire under your ass. Why are you doing what you’re doing? What is your purpose? Realize your WHY, write it down and look at it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. The power of visualization is crazy! And there will be people who attempt to tear you away from your goals. So manifest your destiny and envision yourself achieving your goals every single day and then go after it! You won’t achieve success if you don’t first believe you can achieve success. Self-believe and a solid WHY are the foundation for a successful career and life.
And there you have it, folks. My ten steps to achieving balance between work, family and coaching. And now I’m going to print this off so that I can remember daily to chill out, celebrate the process and appreciate the work ethic as much as the results.
Happy Sunday All!!